I mean, come on, why would you not run out and grab cash when you first knew the plumber was coming over? It's your fault the two of you wound up having to figure out an alternate payment.

Is she screaming because of a deep and intense orgasm, or because of the searing pain of a double charley horse?

Like, it's super cool, don't get me wrong, but the two of you have been going at it for 20 minutes. There's no one out there who wants to spend the last 30 seconds of sex squeezing their eyes shut so tight it feels like they're going to get an aneurysm because they don't want to get ejaculate in their eye.

This is the porn equivalent of Chekhov's gun: If there's a penis in the first act, you better make sure it ejaculates on someone's face by the third. Reality: Watching Porn as a Couple Porn Star Beauty Tricks Everyone Can Use What It's Really Like to Be a Porn Star Follow Frank on Twitter.

Reverse Cowgirl With the Legs Spread Wide This is not because it feels good, this is because it's really easy to film. It's the sex position equivalent of a character in a horror movie acting irrationally.

It's just not believable, and you lose the emotional investment of the audience. I can't masturbate when I'm thinking about the fourth wall and dangling plotlines.

You know those scenes in action movies where the main character throws a match into a puddle of gasoline and causes an amazingly huge explosion?

And you're like, "Yeah, OK, that's cool, but I saw that episode of and I know that wouldn't work in real life." Pretty much every porn scene is an intercourse equivalent of throwing a match in a puddle of gasoline. Instead of doing this, just lie down and pass out on top of each other like Sting does with tantric sex or whatever. The Double Stuff This is where two penises are unceremoniously shoved into one vagina at the same time.Also, as a bonus: What's with all the so-called reality porn where a not-so-random random girl gets into some van with a guy and is just like, "I might as well blow you? WARNING: This Website contains explicit adult material.Watch or download them in Windows Media, AVI, FLV, MPEG or MP4.A whole collection with horny moms, real videos with amateur women in the mood to fuck on cam.When you're a cute old lady in an assisted care facility, you'll be able to tell all the nurses, "Sorry it takes me so long to get out of bed.