If you are starting a relationship, be yourself -- without apology -- from the start.It will save both parties a lot of pain down the road. Warren suggests that dating couples should avoid choosing a mate to please someone else.

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So, if you are in a current relationship, ask yourself, "Can I be myself in this relationship or do I have to mask some of my feelings?

" If the answer is yes, this relationship is not for you.

If they won't, cut the relationship off completely. If the person you are dating pressures you to have sex -- and does not respect your right to say 'no,' this is one of the biggest red flags you can get.

If you are uncomfortable with your date's advances, tell him/her.

The abuser may call the victim frequently during the day, drop by unexpectedly, refuse to let the victim work, check the car mileage, or ask friends to watch the victim.

In the beginning an abuser will attribute controlling behavior to concern for the victim (for example, the victim's safety or decision-making skills).

The following is a list of behaviors that may indicate a potential batterer.

It is not the purpose of the listing to imply that every person with some of these attributes is a batterer or potential batterer.

For instance, a male abuser will see women as inferior to men, responsible for menial tasks, stupid, and unable to be a whole person without a relationship.

This may involve an abuser holding down his the victim, physically restraining the victim from leaving, or pushing or shoving.

An abuser will blame others for all problems or for the abuser's own shortcomings.